nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
