There was a lot of him and a little penis
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
