I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
