the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
did you just send me my own nude
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
