my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize