She is in my trunk
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
