Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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