I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
