i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
