I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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