white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to calm my uterus...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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