Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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