I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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