dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
