Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
