I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
