I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
