dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
