I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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