just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
