He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
