Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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