There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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