I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
