I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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