Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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