he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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