We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
