Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
