whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She told me I should be a condom model.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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