That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
