She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
