We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
