That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
not ubering you a puppy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
