The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
