if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
