Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
