Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
either way he was missing a nipple.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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