I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
