i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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