He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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