Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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