Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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