just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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