There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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