totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
