I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
