I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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