Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
