is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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