He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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