ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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