A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
