I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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